Co-Parenting During the Holidays: The Gift That Keeps on Stressing
Ah, the holidays—everyone’s favorite season of joy, lights, and, let’s be honest, chaos. Now, throw co-parenting into the mix, and you’ve got yourself a whole Hallmark movie, except in this one, nobody’s hugging it out under the mistletoe without checking the custody schedule first.
Co-parenting during the holidays is like assembling IKEA furniture: the instructions are vague, and somehow, you always end up with one piece that doesn’t fit.
Let’s talk about how to survive it.
The Calendar: A Co-Parent’s Best Frenemy
First off, if you don’t have a schedule, stop reading this blog and go make one. Seriously, nothing says “festive dysfunction” like two parents showing up to Grandma’s house on the same day, with the same kid, and nobody agreeing on whether the lasagna or the ham is the main dish.
Agree on the dates early. Split Christmas Eve and Christmas Day if you can, or trade off every year. And if you’re really feeling generous, toss in an “extra” day for your ex so you can hit up that holiday happy hour in peace.
Pro Tip: Use a shared Google Calendar. That way, when someone “forgets” who has the kids, you’ve got receipts.
Gift Coordination: The Ultimate Trap
Look, nobody wants to be the parent who buys the socks when the other one gets the PlayStation. Talk to your co-parent about gifts ahead of time. If one of you is doing the “big gift,” the other can grab accessories or smaller stuff to match. Or go in together—nothing says teamwork like splitting a Costco-sized box of wrapping paper.
But beware: gift wars are real. If your ex shows up with a puppy and you show up with a Target gift card, it’s game over. Your kid’s smile will say, “Thank you,” but their eyes will scream, “You’ve failed me.”
Flexibility Is the Real Christmas Miracle
Things will go wrong. Someone will get sick, snow will ruin travel plans, or that one relative nobody likes will decide to host dinner this year. Flexibility is key.
Your kid doesn’t care if they open presents on December 25th or the 27th—they care that you’re there to build the LEGO set with them. (Even if it takes four hours and ends with you Googling, “How to assemble Millennium Falcon with missing pieces.”)
If you can’t have your child on the “main” day, make your own holiday tradition for when you do. Who says Christmas pancakes on the 26th aren’t festive?
Set Boundaries, Not Bombs
The holidays can be emotional, and sometimes co-parenting feels less like “co-” and more like “competing.” But this is not the time to bring up who forgot Parent-Teacher Night or why the child support check was late.
Keep the focus on the kids. If the conversation gets heated, take a break. No kid wants to remember Christmas as the time Mommy and Daddy argued about the Wi-Fi password.
Remember the Why
At the end of the day, it’s not about you or your ex—it’s about the kids. The holidays are their time to make memories, and trust me, they’re going to remember how they felt more than who got them what.
Be the parent who gives them peace, not pressure. Even if it means biting your tongue when your ex shows up an hour late with the wrong gift. Again.
Look, co-parenting during the holidays is hard. But if you focus on the kids, stay organized, and remember to laugh when things inevitably go sideways, you might just pull it off.
And if all else fails, there’s always New Year’s. Cheers to making it through another round of holiday co-parenting without breaking the ornaments—or your spirit.
